![](http://desertpeace.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/animated-gavel1.gif)
![](http://desertpeace.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/animated-gavel1.gif)
![](http://desertpeace.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/animated-gavel1.gif)
In Court
By
Gary DeVaney
“INTELLIGENCE IS CATEGORICAL”
“INSANITY IS CONTAGIOUS”
Scenario
Judge: Mr. Believer Defendant, you are accused of sellingtainted meat to a family that resulted in two dead and oneterminally ill. How do you plead?
Defendant: Innocent, your honor.
Judge: Do youwish to testify on you own behalf?
Defendant: Yes, your honor.
Judge: Swear himin.
Defendant: Your honor, if you swear me in on this here Bible, I would likeit to show in the record that it was done.
![](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Lo9-0IF3w6E/SIBFb-Cc_eI/AAAAAAAAARM/sUS-hJ9pyKQ/s320/BXP64677.jpg)
Sworn In On The Bible?
Judge: Granted, because I believe in God; and inmy court, you will respect God, country, me and my court. Did you sell this family meat?
Defendant: Sir, because you believe in God, I will tell you the facts. Yes, your honor.
Judge: Where did you get the meat?
Defendant: I found it dead in the back woods, your honor.
Judge: Describe it’s condition.
Defendant: Well, your honor, it stank a little and had a few maggots that I scrapped off, but, I knew it would be ok.
Judge: In your defense what evidence do you have to prove that you are innocent?
Defendant: Well, your honor, turn to this very King James Bible you sworeme in on to Deuteronomy 14:21.God directed: “Ye shall not eatof anything that dieth of itself, thou shalt give it or sellit to a stranger to eat.” God told me to sell to a strangersome rancid meat. If he gets sick or dies, it’s God’s will, notmine. I was just following God’s Biblical orders. Judge, if youfind me guilty, and, if you believe in the Bible; you must findGod guilty too.
![](https://godmurders.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/image-21.png)
Case dismissed…
“You’re Taking It Out Of Context!”
Believer’s Defense Tactics
Scenario
Judge: Ok, accused, tell your story.
Accused: Well judge, I broke into the place and went over and smashed the jewelry case and took the jewels. Then, I destroyed some furniture, blew open the safe, shot the maid, took the money, smoked some crack cocaine and went to a movie.
![](http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2008/01/16/KateMossWindow440.jpg)
![](http://dekerivers.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/gun_shooting.gif)
![](http://www.clipartoday.com/_thumbs/054/batch_04/maidSil_tns.png)
Judge: You shot the maid?
![](http://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/0-999/916/800/Copyrighted_Image_Reuse_Prohibited_719827.jpg)
I Shot the Maid
Accused: Judge, you’re taking it out of context.
Judge: This court has determined that the fact you shot the maid has a context and an importance of it’s own. You are found guilty by your own admission.
![](http://www.zawaj.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/jail-corridor.jpg)
Accountable time / Freedom is unaccountable Time
Questions? Comments?