King David
by
Gary DeVaney
“Intelligence is Categorical”
“Insanity is Contagious”
“A High Percentage of Stupid is Stubborn”
Was God’s King David a Good Guy?
I Samuel 17:48-51 David faces the challenge of combat with the enemy Philistines and slays the giant, Goliath of Gath, and cuts off his head. KJV
II Samuel 21:19 El-Hanan killed Goliath of Gath. Catholic
The Catholic version states this and this is questionable.
I Samuel 18:7 The women sang: Saul has slain his thousands and David his ten thousands.
If you believe this to be true, do you view that God’s David became a mass-murderer?
I Samuel 18:27 David murdered 200 Philistines and circumcised their corpses, all for the hand of one of Saul’s daughters, Michal.
I Samuel 20:4 Jonathan said to David, Whatever your soul desires, I will do it for you.
I Samuel 20:5-6 David told his friend, Jonathan, to lie.
I Samuel 20:41-42 David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they (David & Jonathan) kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David “exceeded”(?) And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, the Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed forever.
I Samuel 1:26 (After Jonathan’s death) David said: I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.
What was the “LOVE” between David & Jonathan?
There was also John – “The Disciple Whom Jesus Loved”.
I Samuel 21:2-3 David lied to a priest.
David, again, fits the mold of one of the Biblical God’s heroes as David is documented to be a liar who also tells others to lie. As long as even one Bible still exists on Planet Earth, these controversial C&Vs will not go away.
I Samuel 21:11-14 David fled from Saul to King Achish. David was afraid of him, feigned insanity and acted like a madman, drooling on his beard.
I Samuel 24:22-23 Saul said to David: Swear to me, by God, that you will not destroy my descendants. David gave Saul his oath.
David has already proven to be a liar, so Saul, you and I should not believe him.
II Samuel 21:1-9 (After swearing “By God” not to) David gave up 7 of Saul’s descendants to be dismembered (murdered) before God.
David, a man after God’s Own heart, after swearing to Saul, by God, broke his “sacred” promise. David, like the Biblical God, will definitely keep his promise – unless he doesn’t.
I Samuel 25:2-34 David said: As God lives, who has restrained me, if you (Abigail) had not come down, so quickly, to meet me; by dawn, Nabal (your husband) would not have had a single man or boy left alive.
David would have killed everybody just because he felt insulted? What a “God-like” ego!
I Samuel 25:39-43 (God killed Nabal) David married Abigail, Nabal’s wife, and also took Ahinoam for his wife. But Saul gave David’s wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter, to another.
I Samuel 27:1-12 David said that he had no choice but to escape from Saul to the land of the Philistines. With 600 men he went over to Achish, the son of the Philistine King. David lived with the Philistines for 1 year, 4 months. He attacked cities and left NO men, women or children alive as was his custom when he lived in the country of the Philistines. Achish trusted David, thinking he must be detested by his people, Israel.
David attacked cities and left NO men, women or children alive – and committed unprovoked mass murders? David IS truly one of God’s “Thou Shalt NOT Kill” heroes.
I Samuel 29:6-10 King Achish informs David he is honest (a traitor to Israel). David begs to stay and fight for them, but they didn’t trust him, so David had to be on his way.
I Samuel 30:6 David’s own men spoke of stoning (murdering) him.
Wow! What a popular hero and leader David was NOT among his own troops!
II Samuel 1:1-16 An Amalekite man reported to David that he saw King Saul leaning on his spear and that Saul begged him to finish him off. David ordered that man murdered.
II Samuel 2:4 The men of Judah anointed David King.
II Samuel 2:8 Ishbaal, son of Saul, was made King over the rest of Israel.
Hummm. Saul obviously worshipped Baal to name one of his sons after Baal.
II Samuel 3:1 There followed a long war between the house of Saul and David with David winning.
Isn’t David killing brother “God chosen” Israelites? What a Biblical model of virtue for the American Civil War!
II Samuel 4:8-12 Two brothers brought the head of Ishbaal, David’s enemy, to David. David had them murdered, cut off their hands and feet and hung them by the pool.
II Samuel 5:4-5 David was 30 years old when he became King and reigned for 40 years; 33 years in Jerusalem over all Israel.
II Samuel 5:8 David said: The lame and the blind shall be the personal enemies of David and shall never enter the palace. Catholic
God’s hero, David, made enemies of the lame and the blind.
WHAT did this “sociopath” just say? God had not wanted infirm people near His temple either. Are these truly your models of compassion, decency, good and virtue?
II Samuel 5:13 David took more concubines and wives – more kids were born to him.
Oh yes! This is definitely God’s man.
II Samuel 5:17-20 The Philistines searched for David. He asked God if he should attack them. God said: Attack! I will deliver them to you, and David defeated them.
II Samuel 6:14 David, girt with a linen apron, danced before God with wild abandon.
II Samuel 6:20 David exposed himself to the slave girls.
Do you think David was ever sued by one of those girls?
II Samuel 7:9 God told David: I have been with you where ever you went and have destroyed your enemies before you.
II Samuel 7:22 David “brown-noses” God: You are great; there is none like you and no God but you…
II Samuel 8:1 David conquers the Philistines.
II Samuel 8:4 David hamstrung horses.
Doesn’t anybody have any conscience here? Doing this “loving” God’s work is so disgusting.
II Samuel 8:5 David slew 22,000.
II Samuel 8:13 David became famous for slaying 18,000 Edomites.
II Samuel 10:18 David’s men killed 700 charioteers and 40,000 Arabian foot soldiers.
II Samuel 11:2-5 David made pregnant Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.
Isn’t that committing adultery?
II Samuel 11:14-17 David ordered Uriah, one of his officers, to be killed in battle so that David could have his wife, Bathsheba.
David knocks-up Bathsheba. Bathsheba was married to Uriah. Uriah was one of David’s officers. To have Bathsheba, David has her husband Uriah killed in battle.
Do you really like David? Why? Why not? How do you feel about David’s God?
Let it sink in: David either committed adultery or raped Bathsheba. Then, David murdered Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah. Uriah was one of David’s officers, who was the armor-bearer for Joab, David’s main General.
The Law of Moses required that David be stoned according to Deuteronomy 22:22.
But, David was not executed. God killed David’s child instead.
II Samuel 11:26-27 David displeased the Lord.
This conflicts with:
I Samuel 25:28 David fights the battles of God and Evil has NOT been found in him in all his days.
Maybe “Evil” is “The Biblical God’s pleasure”.
II Samuel 12:9 David despised the word of the Lord and did Evil in His sight. KJV
Wow! Isn’t that’s quite the testimony for God’s favorite? And, isn’t this yet another contradiction with 1st Samuel 25:28?
II Samuel 12:11-12 God said: I will bring Evil upon you out of your own house. I will make your neighbor have sex with your wives in the presence of all Israel in broad daylight.
God has to BE “Evil” to bring “Evil” upon someone. Did this C&V just document that the Biblical God both caused adultery and also created smut voyeurism? In the ancient Israelite belief, God did it all. Christians spin the Satan myth to take the heat off the Biblical God because God is such an evil, heinous Character. And, the Judeo-Christians want this God worshiped.
II Samuel 12:13-18 Nathan, the prophet, told David that God, on His part, had forgiven David’s sin, that he shall not die but the child born to him must surely die and the child did die.
Who said something about: The sins of the father will NOT be paid for by his children? Was this little guy allowed to live for 7 days, so that parent / child emotional bonding could take place? Then, did God murder the little child just to punish the parents? Do you dare honestly answer these questions?
II Samuel 12:24 David had sex with Bathsheba again. She bore Solomon.
The Biblical God is totally kinky. God murders David’s & Bathsheba’s first nameless child to punish them. Then, God gives David and Bathsheba an awesome, “sacred” reward by having (God’s next hero) King Solomon born unto them.
II Samuel 20:3 David locked away 10 concubines until their deaths.
These 10 concubines willingly and intentionally did nothing to deserve such a horrible fate. But then, what would you expect from God’s heroes?
II Samuel 21:6-9 David took 7 descendants of Saul and gave them up so they were dismembered before God.
Remember in 1st Samuel 24: 22-23 Saul said to David, “Swear to me, by God, that you will not destroy my descendants.”
Redundantly, didn’t David give to Saul his oath? Wasn’t that sacred oath to God? David lied, broke his word and his oath to God. Doesn’t this God and His King David both prove to be liars? Do you support David? Why? Do you support this Judeo-Christian ethic – this sick Biblical model?
II Samuel 24:1 God was angry with Israel and told David to number Israel.
NEWS-FLASH! Remember: Angry GOD told David to number Israel right here according to II Samuel 24:1.
I Chronicles 21:1 And SATAN stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel. KJV
NEWS-FLASH II: SATAN provoked David to number Israel right here as documented in 1st Chronicles 21:1.
Isn’t it ironic that in the 13th book of the Holy Bible, “Satan” is introduced in 1st Chronicles 21:1. In Satan’s first by-name introduction, the Bible claims that Satan is doing the exact same deed that God, Himself, took credit for in II Samuel 24:1. Based on this “sacred” introduction to a character called “Satan” – a logical person must question – “Is God and Satan the same Character?” Either they both are the same character or the Bible LIED by accusing both God and Satan of ordering King David to do a census.
II Samuel 24:10 David regretted having numbered the people.
Why? It was because God ordered David to number the people in II Samuel 24:1, didn’t God?
II Samuel 24:15 God punished (David) by putting out a plague that murdered 70,000 of his people.
Why again? God ordered David to number the people in II Sam 24:1, did He not? Again, did the Bible later lie that Satan ordered the census in 1st Chronicles 21:1?
II Samuel 24:25 David built an altar to offer holocaust (sacrifices) to God as peace offerings. God stopped his murdering (after 70,000 died).
God sent His “Death-Angel” to murder 70,000 innocent “God Chosen” Israelites after David obeyed God’s order to number the Israelites in II Samuel 24:1. What a God! What a Bible! What insanity!
How The Biblical God Viewed His David
I Samuel 25:28 David fights the battles of God and evil has NOT been found in him in all his days.
Evil has not been found in David in all his days.
This has to be one of God’s believer’s greater conflicts. After knowing all the heinous, murderous deeds David did, with and without his God, can you explain it away?
II Samuel 19:27 My Lord the King (David) is an Angel of God.
David is an Angel of God? Wow!
Acts 13:22 God said: This was David, a man after My Own heart which shall fulfill all My will.
David was a man after God’s Own heart!
David shall fulfill all God’s will!
I Kings 15:5 David did that which “was right in the eyes of God.”
So, let’s review:
David killing his ten thousands was right as David shall fulfill God’s will!
David murdering 200 Philistines and circumcised their corpses was right in the eyes of God.
David lying and telling another to lie is alright as evil has not been found in David in all his days.
David, after swearing by GOD to Saul he would not, gave up 7 of Saul’s descendants to be dismembered (murdered / torn-apart / sliced to pieces) before God which was right in the eyes of God.
David would have killed everybody at a private function just because he wasn’t invited. David felt insulted and this was right as David shall fulfill God’s will!
David attacked cities and left no men, women or children alive as evil has not been found in David in all his days.
David’s killing brother “God Chosen” Israelites was right in the eyes of God.
David murdered men, cut off their hands and feet and hung them by the pool which was right as David shall fulfill God’s will!
The lame and the blind shall be the personal enemies of David, an Angel of God.
David hamstrung horses which was right in the eyes of God.
David slew 22,000 as which was right as David shall fulfill God’s will!
David became famous for slaying 18,000 Edomites which was right in the eyes of God.
David’s men killed 700 charioteers and 40,000 Arabian foot soldiers as David was an Angel of God.
David exposed himself to the slave girls which was right in the eyes of God.
David took more concubines and wives which was right in the eyes of God.
David displeased the Lord as David was an Angel of God.
David despised the word of the Lord and did Evil in His sight which was right as David shall fulfill God’s will!
Having Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed so David could have her was God’s will as evil has not been found in David in all his days.
God had forgiven David’s sin, that he shall not die but the child born to him must die because Evil has not been found in David in all his days.
Was the new “Satan” character in 1 Chronicles, the 13th book of the Bible, created as an afterthought, a “patsy”? Was Satan character’s job to cover-up from blaming The Biblical God for all His evil deeds? The concept of A Satan was first introduced about 500-400 BC, about the time Chronicles was written.
Primitive Jews had no more of a concept of Satan than they did of Jesus. To the Old Testament Biblical Hebrews, God did it all.
How do you like King David and his God?
Did David kill 200 men for their foreskins?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=zlScy3FZCzU
Corrections? Comments? Questions?